Affiliate Marketing for Beginners: The Simple Guide to Making Money Online

Here is a 1500 word article on “affiliate marketing for beginners” written in a casual and friendly 40 year old humorist's style:

Well hi there, friends! Have you heard about this whole “affiliate marketing” thing but still find yourself scratching your head wondering what the heck it actually is? As a semi-ancient 40-something goofball who has managed to figure some stuff out over the years, let me see if I can hip you young whippersnappers to the basics and break it down for you in simple human words.

In short, affiliate marketing is kinda like being one of those people with the tasty samples at Costco. “Would you like to try this delicious ice cream? Just sign up for a membership!” Only instead of cheese samples, you promote actual products and services. And instead of a Costco membership, you get a slice of the profits when people buy stuff.

It works like this:

You find a company selling something you dig – could be makeup, courses, socks, whatever. You apply to join their “affiliate program” to earn commissions promoting their wares. If they accept you, they'll give you a special tracking link that you add to any mentions of their stuff across ye old interwebs.

For example, Beachbody is a company selling workout programs. As a Beachbody affiliate, whenever you tweet about their tastiness to your dozen followers, you'd include your special Beachbody affiliate link.

Savvy so far, my young padawan learner friends?

Next you slap that affiliate link all over the place – your blog, YouTube, gram of the insta, the Metaverse, wherever you can reach potential customers. As the funnily edgy 40-year-old humorist of this here article, I'll assume you youngsters know more about this social media jazz than I do!

But let's say you make a TikTok video reviewing the tastiness of BeachBody's apple crumble flavored protein powder. You'd mention how scrumptious it is in your funny skit, then put your affiliate link in the captions and bio so folks can buy some for themselves. Cha-ching!

Here's the extra delicious part – every time someone clicks your link and buys that sweet sweet protein powder or whatever else you're promoting, the company slices off a bit of their profit and tosses it your way. Could be 5%, could be 75%…depends on the affiliate program. But the more stuff people buy after visiting your link, the more cha-ching lands in your wallet!

And that, my young go-getter friends, is affiliate marketing in a peanut butter cookie shell. Wasn't so confusing after all now, was it? Just remember dear ol' Uncle Funnyman here when you're rakin' in the big affiliate bucks and want to send your wacky 40-something pal on a Hawaiian vacation!

Now before you and your TikTok and Instagram followers start tag-team suplexing every affiliate link from here to Timbuktu, let's chat smart strategies, shall we? Just like in life, to really thrive you gotta find programs aligned to your passion points and audience interests.

Luckily that worldwide web thingy makes it easy to find companies offering affiliate deals for almost any niche nowadays! But here are some tips from this been-there-done-that goofball:

Focus on products, services and content you genuinely dig and already chat about online. Passion sells way better than boring old sales pitches!

Look for popular companies in your niche with kick-butt affiliate programs that pay well per sale or lead. Recurring commissions are the sweetest money pie!

Make sure the company offers promo materials and resources to help ya promote their stuff. Images, logos, ads, you name it!

Use affiliate program directories like ShareASale.com to compare lots of options in one spot.

Getting started is lots easier when you build on stuff you already love rather than trying to force it. Feel me?

Alright, alright – enough pep talk from silly ol' me. Let's chat brass tacks strategies to kickstart your affiliate promotions and start lining those pockets with affiliate coin!

Even this quirky 40-year-old goober managed to figure a few things out over the years. Hopefully you young whippersnapper rookies can take these tips and catch up fast!

Here are some beginner affiliate marketing moves I wish I knew back when I had more hair up top:

Start by promoting to friends, family & existing networks first. Less risky while you learn the ropes! Once you build confidence & experience…

Slowly expand your reach through social media accounts, email lists, etc. Drive engaged followers back to your website, videos, podcasts!

Create detailed content focusing on ONE product per post – share why you like it & link to it. DON'T overpromote!

Test different affiliate links, call-to-actions & landing pages to see what converts best. Track conversions to double down on what works!

Be upfront in your content when promoting affiliate products so it doesn't feel overly salesy & sketchy. Build that trust!

Promote affiliate offers with incentives tied to your own products/services for extra enticement & value.

Ask affiliates you partner with about extra incentives, promos or creative ideas to help drive conversions. Never stop learning!

Phew! This getting old thing ain't for wimps. Hope something in this article starts ya on the right foot or at least gave ya a few chuckles along the way. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for the early bird dinner special! Just don't spend all your affiliate earnings in one place, ya crazy kids! *shakes fist grumpily*